The Honeymoon to Mordor
by Rosemary101
Summary: What if Mordor wasn't destroyed before Arwen and Aragorn got married and Pippin was 2 times more idiotic? Here's what might happen...
1. Chapter one: Pippins Surprise

Aragorn and Arwen held hands as they rode into the Shire on beautiful, white horses. Hobbits ran to see The King of Gondor but were shoved aside by Pippin.  
"You wanted to see us?" Aragorn asked as he took Arwen's soft, pale hand.  
"Yes I did Mr. Strider! I have a special surprise for you!" Pippin exclaimed, bouncing with barely-contained excitement.  
"What may this surprise be?" asked Arwen in a soft, light-as-snow voice.  
"Well, for us hobbits, we have honeymoons after we get married", Pippin started.  
Aragorn and Arwen exchanged glances .

"Honeymoon you say?" asked Arwen "And what may this be?"  
"It's a romantic vacation basically, but anyways, I took the liberty of planning your honeymoon and guess where it is?"  
"Lothlorein?" asked Aragorn hopefully but soon hung his head after Arwen shot him a smouldering look.  
"Rivendell?" asked Arwen.  
"The Grey Havens?"  
"Mirkwood?"  
"Nope." replied Pippin with a big grin plastered on his face, "It's... Mordor!"


	2. Chapter two: The plans

**Hello! This is probably a bit late but this is my first Fanfic. so please reveiw! Thanks for reading this! Now on with the program!**

Arwens mouth swung open and Aragorn went rigid with shock.  
"Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh" Aragorn made an odd, funny noise with his mouth as he stared at Pippin.  
"Erm, Pippin? What do you mean as in Mordor?" Arwen asked careful not to destroy the idiotic hobbits feelings.  
Pippin elbowed a hobbit standing next to him who was also staring blankly at Pippin, "Eh, eh? I told you they'd love it"  
The hobbits eyes darted around nervously "I... don't know you"  
As Aragorn finally got himself composed he said dubiously,"Pippin, I don't think this is a good idea..."  
"Of course it is! I booked two tickets for the Mordor Adventure Tours! You'll get to stay at a wonderful 5 star hotel overlooking a beautiful mountain range and your tour guide shall be ,in fact, a personal friend of mine!"  
Arwen and Aragorn exchanged glances "Well I guess it doesn't sound too bad" Aragorn conceded "But who is this personal friend of yours"  
Pippin winked at them and said it's a surprise. The double A.A. couple exchanged a glance-conversation  
Arwen: Are we going to throw the tickets in the river?  
Aragorn: Ok, but try not to shatter Pippins feelings in the process  
Arwen: It's a date then  
Aragorn:...  
Arwen: What?  
Aragorn:...  
Pippin kept on talking, "And here's the best part... I get to come with you all the way to Mordor! Of course, I don't want to intrude on your honeymoon but I'll carry my furry feet all the way to Mordor with you then leave"  
"Erm... ok sure?" Arwen said hesitently.  
"Perfect!" Pippin jumped up and down like a little kid who is about to get strawberry and chocolate ice cream on a waffle cone "We leave today!"


	3. Chapter three: Minas Morgul

*A few run-ins with very slow talking Ents and men later...*  
Treebeard, Pippin, Aragorn and Arwen stand at the cross-roads, staring at the shadow looming over the hated land called Mordor.  
"Woah..." Pippin says, his eyes wide.  
"Woah indeed..." Arwen says, barely whispering.  
Pippin breaks out of his trance and hurridly says "Here are your reservations for the Mordor-Adventure-Tour and The Minas Morgul Hotel! Bye!" And hopped on his horse and rode off in a flash.  
"Is he scared of Mordor?" Arwen asked suspiciously.  
"Whaat? Never. He is a worthy soldier of Gondor and you should know that," Aragorn chided, "Now lets see our hotel rooms".  
After walking a while they finally arrived at the enterance to Minas Morgul.  
Before they could take a step towards Minas Morgul, Treebeard held out an arm and said (though more quickly)"Wait... Listen... Do... You... Hear... It?"  
"No?" Arwen said dubiosly, "What exactly is "It"?"  
As if on cue, an orc with a dagger the size of Treebeards... -well- beard sticking out of his back stumbled out of the entrance gasping for breath. Aragorn and Arwen exchanged puzzled glances, then pushing away the confusion, Aragorn asked (as politely as he could to an orc)  
"Excuse me but is this the Minas Morgul Hotel?"  
The orc said through an odd accent , "Yes? And are you the guests Aragorn and Arwen? The prison escapees?"  
Aragorn opened his mouth to reply but Arwen -deeply offended- snapped "I'll have you know that we are the rulers of Gondor and are not ,in fact, prison escapees! I demand to speak to your manager about this degrading title!"  
"Erm, actually, I'm the ruler of Gondor, you just sit around all day, doing nothing but-"Aragorn interjected.  
"That Aragorn son of Arathorn is not the point" Arwen snapped.  
Treebeard ,who had been tuning the whole conversation out, finally interjected and said "Just... give... it... the... reservation... information"  
Arwen rolled her eyes and said "Fine, fine" then snatched the 4 foot high stack of papers from Aragorns hands and smacked the orc with it "Now bring us to our rooms!" Arwen demanded.  
The orc rolled his eyes and said to Aragorn "I feel sorry for you".  
"What did you-" Arwen said but by then the whole group had already rushed through the entrance (including Treebeard).  
After an arduous walk up the steep stairs of Minas Morgul, the group finally arrived to Shelob's Lair.  
The orc plucked a stray web from his arm and said "You shall be served breakfast at 7 and start your tour at 5"  
"Wait, you mean 5 in the afternoon, right?" Aragorn asked.  
"..." The orc stayed silent for a while then said "Good luck! Don't let Shelob bite!"  
"Wait, where's our furniture or dinner... or for that manner Treebeard?!" Arwen demanded but the orc ran down the stairs.  
"Well, that's interesting" a voice said in the shadows.


End file.
